Category Archives: Shamuel

Talking With Coatlicue on the Way to Quetzalcoatl

March 19, 2016

coatlicue

Coatlicue

The other morning as I awoke, I felt the urging of my High Self, Samuel, to enter into conversation. He suggested that I do my usual yoga and pranayama exercises in order to warm up and clear my systems, which I did. Then as I entered into my post-pranayama meditation and communication stream, Samuel told me that if I wished to, he would arrange for me to speak with Coatlicue. And, of course, I said, “Yes!”

Some of what we discussed remains a bit blurry at this point, but the gist of her message was that if I chose to do so, I could continue Gloria Anzaldúa’s project beyond the point where she unfortunately left off at the time of her death in 2004. I’ve been getting a similar message from various spirit sources for some time now, but up to this point I was clueless concerning what exactly this might mean. Beyond that, I feel a bit daunted at the prospect of putting myself in her shoes and continuing her journey in this way. I can’t imagine such a process going unchallenged, yet I do feel that the calling is legitimate and important.

What I learned from Coatlicue was that Gloria had gone quite far in overcoming the Shadow-Beast stage of her initial confrontation with Coatlicue when she began work on the project of “putting Coyolxauqui together again.” What this means, in short, is that at a certain point in her liberation project Gloria had begun to identify with Coyolxauqui, the daughter of Coatlicue. As the story goes, while Coatlicue was pregnant with Huitzilopochtli—the Aztec Sun-God of War—Coyolxauqui recognized that her brother-in-utero was destined to bring about the end of the feminine world order up to that point. Huitzilopochtli would bring around a patriarchal military order that would lead to untold death and destruction. And such certainly seems to be the result of Huitzilopochtli’s reign, which is just now at a critical crossroads.

coyolxauhqui

Coyolxauhqui

Upon recognizing Coyolxauhqui’s fratricidal (and consequently matricidal) intentions to murder her brother in utero to prevent such a drastic outcome and overthrow of the world order, Huitzilopochtli caused his own premature birth, leaping from the womb of Coatlicue and dismembering and beheading his sister Coyolxauqui, tossing her head into the heavens where it now reigns as our moon. From this tale of cosmic sibling rivalry Anzaldúa put together a restorative project of putting Coyolxauhqui together again and bringing about a new, reborn feminine source of power (the rebirth of the feminine that many see as the primary quality of the shift from the Age of Pisces to the Age of Aquarius).

 

So far, so good. But what Coatlicue then suggested to me was that this restoration or remembering of Coyolxauqui was a very important but ultimately transitional process of social healing. The “Rebirth of the Feminine” that one might imagine as the consequence of “putting Coyolxauhqui back together” is a restorative moment paving the way for the unification of the masculine and the feminine. This bisexual unification should be the ultimate goal for today’s spiritual activists. And the figure best prepared to stand in as the representative of such a project is not Coyolxauhqui but Quetzalcoatl.

 

Hitzilopochtli

Hitzilopochtli

My job, then, is to present Gloria’s Coatlicue-Huitzilopochtli-Coyolxauhqui in as much detail as possible, highlighting the cosmic logic behind this family drama, and then to develop in as much detail and clarity as possible what the new reign of Quetzalcoatl might look like. Quetzalcoatl is the best figure for such a cosmic-social transformation because He/She represents the manifestation of the cosmic unification of the masculine and the feminine as well as all other logics of social polarity. Being the dragon figure, the winged serpent whose home is both the Heavens and the Earth, Quetzalcoatl represents the next stage of healing cosmic consciousness, the Yin-Yang fusion of all oppositional factions into a movement of planetary liberation.

So this is what I plan to do as I move forward in this development of Anzaldúa’s project of healing the cosmic Self. This is the next moment on the path of cosmic bridging that Gloria sought throughout the last decade of her life.

Quetzalcoatl

Quetzalcoatl

Jacob-Becoming-Israel and the Divine Syzygy: An Inner Manifestation

March 2, 2016

wrestling

One of the most profound spiritual experiences I have had took place on Monday, February 29, 2016 as I drove from Athens, Ohio to Topeka, Kansas to see my daughter Tori. As I was driving on I-70 in eastern Indiana I was moved to speak with Samuel, my High Self. Samuel instructed me to begin a conversation with Jacob, my Male Self, so I did.

I don’t remember much now from the early parts of this communication, but at a crucial moment my Female Self, Esther, began speaking. The surprising thing was that she was speaking in English, which she almost never does. She usually uses her ancient language that I speak so frequently now. Esther began addressing Jacob by announcing that the time had come for him to accept his true inner nature, which meant accepting his transformation from Jacob to Israel. She then began chanting in a wonderful sing-song way, “You are Israel—accept your true nature! You are Israel—accept your true nature!”

syzygy

Initially Jacob was both flattered and a little disturbed to be called on for such a transformation. He has known for some time now that his moment was coming soon, but he had never imagined that it would take this form of accepting a new identity, and especially not the identity of Israel. Given his strong condemnation of the colonizing behaviors of the state of Israel and the earlier American manifestations of such Biblical imperialism, not to mention the brutal relations between the early nation and its neighbors in the Bible,  Jacob was not predisposed to take on such an identity.

But the remarkable thing was how beautiful the new identity felt, not just to Jacob but to all of my inner selves and to me as a total personality. Jacob, in utter ecstasy, began chanting, “I am Israel! I am a child of God! O am Israel! I am a child of God!” This ecstatic acceptance of this newly-revealed identity filled my entire being with warm light. I believe that I was actually glowing as I soared across the highway of Indiana, deeper into the magical plains of the Mississippi Valley.

Esther and Israel joined together in a new ecstatic union, which increased the ecstatic glowing and the musical round of heavenly song. I could hear angels singing all around me as I was filled with pure joy.

32HermaphroditeMercury

In response to my lingering questions about the brutal nature of the nation of Israel in ancient and in modern days, I was told that the true meaning of the Biblical Israel’s transformation from Jacob had been the marriage between humanity and the Planetary Being. The “Land of Israel” did not refer simply to the place commonly referred to as the Holy Land but to the planet as a whole. Israel was being instructed in his role as avatar for humanity in this newfound sense of being at home, this new atonement between humankind and the Earth. This was never meant as a covenant between a single tribe on a single plot of land but as a unification of the human with Gaia. My recognition of this human-planetary unity filled me with even more ecstatic energy.

star-sun

I was then urged to remember the moment in the movie version of The Da Vinci Code when the main character revealed the meaning behind the two triangles that make up the Star of David, the downward-pointing triangle representing the female womb and the upward-pointing one representing the male phallus, with the unity of the two signifying the divine unity of the Female and Male Principles. My new experience of the unity of Esther and Israel represents just such a cosmic unity of male and female within myself, a unity that promises great changes in my social being. In fact, this newfound unity within myself as symbolized by the united triangles of the Star of David revealed yet another transformative element for me: the “Star of David,” a universal symbol that pre-existed its association with the Jews of Israel for thousands of years, was originally known as the Star of Gabriel as well as many other names. This, then, is my star, my sacred image that is to guide my mediations for some time to come.

The oddest part of all of this is how much sense it all makes and how healed and transformed I feel as a result. I am truly blessed to receive this new understanding and to be grounded in this unity of humanity and Gaia as a divine syzygy.

Angel of Self Healing

November 7, 2015Healing Angel

Last night I woke up at around 3 a.m. (no surprise there!) and realized that for the first time in at least three weeks I was moving my left knee, now doing so while sleeping. My first reaction was panic—“Oh no, I’m gonna really hurt my knee by moving it like this!” But I realized very quickly that I was in fact being led through an important lesson in Self Healing.

On Sunday, October 18, I believe it was, I twisted my knee while gathering firewood with my wife, Anna, and her mother, Irma. I was tossing a cut log down a hillside when I lost my footing. I quickly dug my left heel into the dirt and leaves, but my wildly spinning body kept spinning wildly towards the left leg, wrenching my knee out of place. I didn’t feel much pain immediately, but I could tell I had injured it pretty seriously. Even so, given the macho dude that I can sometimes be—when I’m not sitting in bed reading books for work—I continued throwing the rest of the logs with Anna and Irma down the hillside and retrieving the ones that had rolled into our sacred creek.

So needless to say, I paid a visit to Urgent Care the next morning, got a diagnosis of a sprain and a knee sleeve to try to hold it in place, and continued working all week on crutches while waiting for my Friday appointment with the orthopedic doctor. By Friday my knee hurt even more, my doctor was not pleased with my situation, and so after several X-rays, an MRI, a CAT scan, and several other exams, the doctors determined that I had pretty serious tears in my meniscus cartilage. So I then went into surgery on Thursday, October 29.

As others who have experienced such surgeries had predicted, my healing has been slow and relatively painful. I slowly grew more depressed as the two weeks after surgery passed and I saw no real healing at all. “Damn, when is this gonna happen?! I want to go for hikes right now! What if I never get better? What if this means the rest of my body will start deteriorating now that I’m a year and a half from turning 60? What if I don’t get to climb Wheeler Peak in New Mexico on my 60th birthday as I’ve planned since I was about 25? What if I never heal?! Waaah!”

I think those who know me will attest to the fact that I rarely sink into self-pity like this. So by now I was getting depressed simply because I was getting depressed. “What’s wrong with me? I’m tougher than this! I’m a damn meditating expert, for Christ’s sake! I’m bigger than pain and self-doubt and despair!” And given that our car radiator had blown out the night before and we now had no car for a few days at least, I was beginning to slip into despair and self-pity. Deeply. (Another stroke of luck, by the way, was the offer from my friend and boss to borrow her car until ours is ready.)

And yet at 3-something a.m. I awoke to find myself slowly but decidedly rotating my legs from front to back—I was lying on my right side, with my hurt left leg on a pillow that was on top of my right leg. I found that I was slowly rubbing the bottom of each foot with the toes of the other foot, again in what seemed to be a very deliberate and purposeful motion. So pretty quickly the seemingly-deliberate nature of this motion made me stop panicking and to pay attention to what I had started doing in my sleep.

As soon as my panic ended, I realized that this motion was in fact very deliberate and very comforting, not threatening further harm at all. As soon as I recognized this, I realized that I was being led through this exercise by some entity hovering over our bed. I asked who it was, but knew even beforehand that it was Shamuel, my Higher Self (what popularly would be known as my Guardian Angel or, less popularly, my Daimon). Shamuel, a Solar Angel (as all Higher Selves helping humans are), continued speaking his instructions to me, but it was only at this point that I realized I had been hearing his instructions all along, even in my sleep.

Probably the most important instruction was one he kept repeating in a very soothing and reassuring tone: “Relax. Acknowledge that you’ve got the power to heal yourself whenever you need to. But you have to accept this in order for it to work. So relax and ease into this process. Feel the warm, soothing energy that is flowing through your legs from toes to hips and back down. This is a very healing energy that you can call on at any time you need.” energy flower

So I relaxed into the exercise, let myself sink into consciousness of the soothing, water-like flow of the energy, and let myself slowly let go of my previous despair, doubt, and depression and flow into a beautiful state of easy, releasing glow. Almost immediately I realized that my left leg felt immeasurably better than it had during the days before. For the first time in weeks I felt not only that I was actually healing, but doing so rapidly.

I asked Shamuel about the significance of some things. One was about the bicycle-riding-like movement of my legs. His answer was manifold. One point was that I was synching the energy of my “good” leg and my “bad” or my “healthy” and “hurt.” As each leg slowly rotated, my left leg grew in strength simply by identifying with the cycling motion of the right leg.

A second point involved the rubbing of the bottoms of my feet with my toes. Shamuel’s answer was that this motion was methodically and regularly stimulating the hundreds of acupressure points in my feet and, by extension, the energy points throughout my body, providing a total-body state of equilibrium. The cycling and the rubbing together sent waves of healing energy throughout my body, importantly beginning with my toes and the bottoms of my feet and traveling up through my legs. In this way, my hurt leg became the conveyor of healing energy for the rest of my body and not just for itself. It became the vehicle of healing extension and thus acted in a unifying way towards healing of myself and, ultimately, the entire cosmos. I was told that this “instruction” was not simply for me but for me to pass on to others as my own contribution to the awakening of self-healing consciousness in all humanity and beyond.

foot chart

Throughout the exercise, each time I felt a bit of pain in my leg or my hip (which has been stressed as a result of the stress to my leg) I was urged to send my consciousness to the points of pain and discomfort. Through such focus I was then to identify with the pain, make it my own, allow it to express itself fully, and then let it simply melt into the warm fluid flow of healing energy throughout my body until it disappeared like sugar in a full bathtub. Then still with the bathtub vision in mind, I was told to simply let my entire body float and melt into the warm water flow of healing energy.

The results of all of this were stunning. I awoke with the same warm glow flowing throughout my body. And miraculously I could bend my left leg at the knee up to about a 70º angle with no pain at all. I found that I could take four or five steps at a time before needing to brace myself again with my crutches. And most miraculous of all was that for the first time in weeks I was able with assistance from my crutches to climb up to the top of our upper meadow. The late afternoon sun felt so gorgeous on my face, and the landscape was simply electric! What a breakthrough day.

The key is that this particular healing regime is a simple aspect of being human. We all have these capabilities and simply need to awaken them, as various people have done throughout human existence. But given that medical care has in our culture become the provenance of specialists, hospitals, and pharmaceutical corporations, we have been led to forget our own self-healing capacities.

It is now time to wake up to our own powers within.

I thank the divine powers of the universe for this wonderful and sacred experience.

Peace, Love, and Healing,

Gabriel (with help from Shamuel)